The good old days...

To celebrate Christmas today, I recalled how I did my best holiday shopping at Gimbels.

Send them back...send them beck

To celebrate Christmas today, I called the nursing home to make sure my grandma didn't get run over by a reindeer.

You don't have to watch Dynasty...

To celebrate Christmas today, I broke out the mistletoe and hung it back up over my doorway. Quick, somebody give me a kiss.

Polar caps

To celebrate Christmas today, I asked Santa to make the polar bear reappear on tonight's episode of "Lost."

Hulk. Smash.

To celebrate Christmas today, I wrote producers of the planned new Hulk film, and asked them to recreate this scene in their film.

Wright Christmas

To celebrate Christmas today, I added a new David Wright hitting streak on my Christmas list. You know, because D. Wright couldn't hit his way out of a paper bag these days.

Takes a licking...

To celebrate Christmas today, I treated myself to an ice-cream bar. It's hard to splurge during the holidays.