Wreath out of the box

To celebrate Christmas today, I unpacked an old wreath from storage and hung it up in my room. It's held up pretty well and smelled like cinnamon for some reason.

Sorry wrong number

To celebrate Christmas today, I called 411 for Santa Claus' phone number. They only had a listing for a Maria Santa Cruz. I left Maria alone.

Antler envy

To celebrate Christmas today, I put on fake reindeer antlers to fit in with the other reindeers. Oh wait. they're aren't any other reindeers. Oh well, Merry Christmas anyway.

King Christmas

To celebrate Christmas today, I pondered why Larry King never made his own Christmas special. He'd look adorable on a sleigh.

Sock it to me

To celebrate Christmas today, I tried to put on my wife's reindeer sucks to stay warm. They didn't fit.

50 % Off is a Great Deal

To celebrate Christmas today, I stocked up on various holiday decorations at a party store in White Plains for my Christmas party. I've got approximately 10 months to tidy up the apartment. There's never enough time.

Santa is just a stuffed animal

To celebrate Christmas today, I broke out a stuffed animal Santa Claus in the hopes he'll come to life like Frosty. That didn't happen, but it would've made a lovely new children's book for the holiday.